It’s funny how time and life circumstance can change your outlook, direction and perspective and leave you feeling disconnected. It was August when I wrote my first blog and I was on track and on a mission but somewhere along the way I lost the path and have been flailing in the wind that is life so to speak.
My resolve back then was so certain, paint my hearts, they have meaning, I love to do them, I get lost in them! Then I heard that inner critic “but they are boring, no one likes them, they aren’t as popular as birds or realism” – the voice of doubt and I listened! It took my dissatisfaction and the wonderful world of “coincidence” (podcasts with the same message over and over), to slap me in the face say, wake up!
So here I am back at the heart of the matter, *cough cough*, refocused and determined to stay on track and paint what is me. I took some time out with a view and some peace and quiet on a hilltop and mapped out where I was, who I was and what I loved to do. When I looked at what I had written, the same descriptive words were tied to 3 things. The words were complex, intricate, deep, strong, weathered, and beautiful and they described what I saw or felt about – Trees, Hearts (Love) and Me
I had started a painting last year but there was something not quite right about it, it was about the time I started listening to the voice of doubt. After completing a few pastel pieces recently, I took it back out and decided to make it right. I had spoken to a very good friend about it and he agreed, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t connected! So, I needed to connect it! After only one night of “fixing” I was engulfed by a the rush of joy, satisfaction, that feeling I cant really explain – a knowing! It was all I needed to remind me that I should listen to my gut and stay connected to what is truly in me.
So here it is “Connected” just like me. Connected to who I am, connected to what I paint, connected to the life I love.
The tree is connected to the ground (the heart), and at the Heart of a tree is Life, at the Heart of Life is Love and at the Heart of Love is You
I tell you all this in the hope that you may silence the inner critic and take some time out from life and just sit with yourself and listen to what your inner voice, your gut is telling you and take on life with a confidence that comes from within. Give up living a life that just pleases others, and focus on you, connect with you and live a life that you love! Grow stronger, get deep with your intricacies and complexities, see the weathered features that time has made beautiful!
Cheers
Lisa
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