When we lose something, is it truly lost, forever? Yes physically it may be gone but is it truly lost? This thought got me pondering and while I was pondering I painted, trying to lose things in the paint. With that sparked more thoughts and in turn, yes, a poem. I realised after losing my parents that I hadn’t “lost” them as I always had the memories and images of them inside my heart, mind and really my soul. It was like they existed within me. This can be said about everything really, and everyone. The memories we have live on, forever, within, so I wrote this poem
Lost Things
Words
Moments
Time
Someone
Nothing is ever truly lost
For within the heart exists a world
Unseen but always on display
Always felt but never touched
A world full of lost things
That are forever found within
When I was playing around, literally, within the paint, swirling white amongst the deep indigo, some of it bright white, some of it lost in the depths of blue but it was still visible. Some reached out and sent rivers of white separating the blue and creating wonderful, beautiful tendrils. Swirls of colour mixing and forming shapes, shades and shadows. This was the start of what I call my “lost things” series. The memories of the lost things are hiding, peaking, showing through, sometimes brightly, sometimes discreetly, quietly, but ultimately always there, within the paint, within the mind, within the heart and soul. Even people with Alzheimer’s who have lost their memory, still have glimpses of an old life through the void that is taking over their mind. It’s not just people in our lives I’m referring to here either, it can be just a moment in time, yes time is lost forever, as is this very moment, but the memory lives on within you and can be replayed, relived or remembered anytime you want.
On a side project I had started cutting paper and felt it could add another layer to this new work and it made me think about how the outer view people see of us is like this paper, plain, simple but uniquely different with every crease, line or mark upon it but it’s not just the surface that make us who we are, it is what is within us, beneath the surface. This is what we see in and of ourselves. Others can’t see this inner world, its unseen but for you it is always on display. Under the paper veil, we can’t touch these lost things ever again but all the joy, all the pain, all the emotions, over and over again, we feel them.
Suddenly life deals us a blow and a hole is formed, a deep hole that leaves us feeling empty and hollow, and in pain, oh how it hurts. All these missing pieces or holes aren’t really holes because when you look through the hole, look through the pain and emptiness and look within, you can still see the beautiful memory of what was there. Yes it still hurts and that will never change but when I put this into a “physical” painting, I felt better. It was a picture that reminded me to look differently at my lost things and I hoped I could share this with others and thus here it is.
I recently got asked to paint two pieces for a brother and sister who had lost both their parents. I had never met them but my cousin who was their Aunt knew of my loss, saw my work and I felt honored when she asked me to do something for them. For me it wasn’t just ‘make something’ and that will do. I needed to know something more about them, I wanted it to connect with them.
For some reason I have always felt that when something in front of you is your favourite colour, it draws you towards what ever it is, so that’s what I started with, their favourite colour. I also got some other details that involved trees and being the strong guiding force for the family through these hard times. So I started!
I was drawn to the red first as that is my colour, a deep, rich red. I started “playing” with the paint again, and allowed it to form and shape, then I guided it into shapes and areas I wanted it to go. Green was the second favourite and I just felt that the top of the heart needed the green and it formed the perfect green field for 2 trees to look out over. The trees represented her parents, happy in the green pasture, overlooking her life but separating them was a void, keeping them apart but really, they will always be embedded within her heart, via their deep roots grown over the lifetime they shared together.
Up until now, I had always put odd shaped holes in the paper to represent the void of lost things but I wanted to carry on the tree theme. These leaves blowing around, old leaves leaving their mark and allowing the past to be seen, new leaves blowing off into the future creating new memories.
The second one was a bit different with it being for a man, I didn’t want it to be as feminine nor the same as the last one. He, being the strong guiding light, through this storm that is now behind them, I felt a lighthouse was appropriate. The clouds are clearing above him but the pain will always be there but he too can see the beautiful memories, feel the love and look forward to a life full of new memories.
After I completed these, I felt rather emotional and I actually cried, I’m not sure why really. Was it for me and my loss, for them and theirs, or was it because all my emotion was within these pieces that were now finished and I was letting them go, I’m still not sure. When I first started my art journey I wanted to call it art from the heart but I thought it was too corny and it still do, but I will always put my whole heart into a piece, whether it be a commission like these or new pieces I paint or poetry I write. It will always be from my heart and hopefully it will speak to yours.
And remember your heart is full of beautiful memories, blended together, together forever, forever found within.
Cheers
Lisa
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